55 - A laptop for a recently bereaved carer - September 2021

This one comes from a member who nominated Jim to receive funds to buy a laptop. Grab a cuppa to have read. Jim and his nominator have been kind enough to share his story. 

As you will see, having access to his own laptop will have a significant impact on many aspects of Jim's life and he's had a tough time of it, so we really hope this will make a few things easier for him.

We have made a few of these kinds of donations. As I sit here at my laptop writing this, I realise once again how much I take it for granted that I have such ready access to my multiple devices. It is so easy for me to connect with friends, do shopping, follow the news, be entertained, fill in forms... These donations have untold impacts.

And so to Jim.

Jim is a man in his 50s. Until recently he lived with his brother Paul and their two dogs. Jim and Paul were very close all their lives; they had had a very difficult upbringing and this had caused difficulties for both of them into their adult lives. As a child Jim attended a school for special needs and has some learning difficulties, which also increased his social anxiety. As a consequence of this the brothers had largely kept themselves to themselves and just got on with things. In his early thirties Jim met a woman, fell in love and they got married. Paul was having some difficulties at the time, and so came to live with them. The three lived happily together, until 10 years ago she very sadly died of cancer.

With the support of his brother and the dogs Jim managed to get back on his feet. However now Paul’s health was declining. He had an incurable respiratory disease, as well as other health problems. Jim became his carer; looking after all the household chores, cooking and tending to the garden which they both loved. Paul dealt with the admin, benefits and finances which was something Jim always struggled with due to his learning disability and anxiety about speaking on the phone, or dealing with people he didn't know. As Paul’s health deteriorated, the brothers realised that they could no longer cope without help. They were referred to the local hospice and were offered counselling and practical support.

Over time the brothers built up a trusting relationship with the social worker and carer support worker; it helped that the workers liked their dogs! Over a couple of years Paul’s physical and mental health declined further; he was in and out of hospital. One day he collapsed and was admitted to hospital and very sadly died earlier this summer. 

Jim was devastated at the death of his brother. He had lost his brother, his house-mate and his best friend and it reactivated all the grief he felt when his wife died. He said that it was only his duty to take care of their dogs that kept him going. In addition to this Jim was also in a financially precarious situation. The brothers had no savings, and what little household income they had would be significantly reduced as Paul’s benefits stopped. Moreover, Jim would now need to start a new claim for Universal Credit. This is very difficult to do unless you have a computer, as the system is designed to be accessed online. If you have a 'phone claim' you have to call up every single time you want to ask a question, inform the DWP of a change, or do anything in connection with your claim. There were also all the other admin matters to deal with like the bank, utilities and insurances. Jim finds it very hard and overwhelming to use the phone and the thought of this was terrifying to him. But there was no way he could afford a computer and he didn't know how to use one.

Now, thanks to you, Jim has his laptop, his hospice support worker (who continued to work with Jim after Paul died) is helping him to learn how to use it and has set up an online Universal Credit claim. In addition to this Jim will be able to access the bank and other utilities online, as well as virtual support groups at the hospice and other community organisations. This will help him feel less isolated and hopefully build his confidence so he can start getting out and engaging more in his local community in person.

Jim says that although using the laptop is “scary” it is very useful, and he is looking forward to getting more confident using it. He is delighted that he won’t have to get on the phone to sort out his benefit claim! He is also happy that he will be able to do online shopping as he has a hernia which means he shouldn’t be lifting heavy shopping. 

Lastly Jim is very touched that other people cared enough about him and his situation to gift him the laptop, and this in itself has been a boost to his confidence and morale.